NaNoWriMo Day 29: The Final Excerpt

One final day remains.  I have one short chapter left to write, but I will do that tomorrow.  However, I would like to say that today I hit 100,000 words!  That is so many for 30 days.  We’ll see what my final count will be tomorrow.

Today, I have the third and final excerpt from my NaNoWriMo novel.  If you would like to go back and read any of the previous excerpts, you can do so here:

Excerpt one and excerpt two.

I would like to remind you that like with all the other excerpts, this is a vomit draft, and thus may have a lot of grammar issues and a wrong word here or there.  The only editing I did was just enough to make sure it’s readable for you.  Please enjoy!


“Don’t use mistcraft!”  Rike shouted again.

He looked around.  A few of the other horses had been calmed down, and were being pulled along to the caves.  Others were struggling.

Natty was standing out in the middle of the chaos.  She looked like she was frozen.  Her eyes were glowing and misty.  Rike ran for her.  “Natty!  Release your mist!”

She did just that.  But that didn’t stop the lightning.  Rike got to her just in time.  He leapt in the air and crashed into her, knocking her to the wet grass, which allowed them to slide a little.  The lightning hit where she was standing only a moment before.  Rike stood up, grabbed Natty’s hand and pulled her up.  Then, fearing to let go of her, he dragged her towards the cave.

It was dry inside, there were already three horses inside with Nico who was tying them up to some stalagmites.  Natty was sopping wet and had a terrified look on her face.

“Stay here,” Rike said.  “No matter what happens outside, you stay inside.”

“Don’t go!” She pulled his arm back.

“Jassa is still out there.”  He ran back out into the storm.  There was still a lot of lightning, but everyone seemed to get the idea that using energetic mist in the Break storm was a bad idea, so most of it was up high in the clouds, not striking the ground.

Naroli was pulling two horses towards the cave.  Visrium had another two horses.  That was eight of the nine living horses accounted for.  Tanroa and Epress were pushing the cart of their supplies out of the storm.

Where was Jassa, and where was Mistress Marenti?  Where was the last horse?

He spotted them near a tree.  Marenti was on her horse, its reins were tangled up in the branches of the small tree, and Jassa and Marenti was trying to get them undone.  They were also using mistcraft.  Either they was taking the risk like fools, or they never heard nor picked up on the fact that Break lighting was attracted to mistcraft.

Rike ran for them.  “Jassa!  Release the mist!”

“Rike, help me get this horse!” She shouted back when she spotted him.

“No, Rike,” Marenti shouted into the wind.  “Get back to the shelter!”

“Release the mist!”  Rike yelled.  “The lightning is att—”

The lightning struck.  It missed Jassa and Marenti, but struck the tree, catching it on iridescent fire.  Jassa was screaming.  A large branch snapped off the tree in the wind.  It fell on Jassa dropping her to the ground.  Her screaming stopped.

“Jassa!” Rike shouted.

The horse tried to flee from the blaze that swiftly descended the burning tree, nearly throwing Marenti in the process.  The fire was too fast.  It engulfed the tree in iridescent fire, and engulfed the horse as well as Marenti, burning them to ash in a moment.

Rike ran forward.  “No!”

He wanted to use mistcraft, but that would call down the lightning on him.  He needed to just rely on his own strength.  There was nothing he could do for the horse or Marenti, they were already gone, and their ash was turning to mud in the rain.  He ran for Jassa, who wasn’t moving.  He hoped she was just unconscious.  He tried to lift the branch, but it was too heavy.  By the strange light of the misty fire, he could see that she was bleeding.

“Lady of the Mist, help me!” he called.  Then he took the risk.  He drew in a little mist, and used it on the branch to empty it of weight.  He heaved it off her, then pulled her into his arms.  Then he ran.  As soon as he moved away, a second bolt of Break lightning struck the branch he had just infused with all his mist.  He ran as fast as he could with Jassa in his arms.  They were the last ones into the cave.  It was deep enough that they were probably all safe from the storm.  The eight remaining horses were starting to calm down.

Rike put Jassa down and put an ear to her chest.  Her heart was beating, and she was still breathing.  But she had a cut on her head from where the branch hit her, and she had some blood pooling on her side.  He lifted her shirt, protruding from her side was a small stick lodged into her.

“Help,” Rike said.


-Excerpt from Mistcraft; Chapter 30, by Andrew Ronzino

That will be the last excerpt this year.  I love this scene, I’m as glad I was convinced to kill a character and not just horses in it.  (Wow, that sounds so bad.)

Current word count for Mistcraft: 100,146/50,000!

Until the final day,

Andrew Ronzino, Master of Mistcraft

Please follow and like:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *