NaNoWriMo Day 19: The Second Excerpt

Today was a good day.  There was another great scene that I was able to write, one that I’ve been seeing in my head for a long time.  It felt good to finally write it.  So, things are going well.

Normally, I would have shared the second excerpt by now, but I’ve been too busy to do so, so I’m doing that tonight.  If you would like to read the first one, you can do that here.  Again, just like with all my excerpts, this is a vomit draft so please ignore any spelling or grammatical errors that may have gotten past my quick edit.  Let me know what you think of it.


“Krola?” Naroli said.

She was looking at Jassa like she were suddenly a meal she hadn’t had in a long time, and she was famished.  Jassa glanced at the door.  Naroli’s hand was on the handle.  Jassa was filled with a fear.  She grabbed Rike’s arm to keep he close to her just in case they needed to flee or fight.

She was surprised by the commanding presence of this mistress of mistcraft.  She exuded power.  On top of her being strikingly beautiful, she was in charge of whatever room she was in.  Right now she was in the room with them, blocking their exit.  She was in awe and terrified of this woman at the same time.

The kettle was still screaming.

“Krola,” she said again.  “Lady of the Mist, what a gift.”  She stared at them in awe, and that frightened Jassa too.

“Please,” she said, like a begging plea.  “Don’t go.  Stay.  I’ll get us that tea.  Please.  Please don’t leave.”  She moved away from the door as if it were the hardest thing in the world for her to do.  She swiftly went into the kitchen.

Jassa could hear teacups being jostled quickly.

“Should we leave?” Rike said.  “I don’t like this.”

“I don’t either,” Jassa said.  “But I don’t think we should leave, Rike.  I don’t know what’s going on.  But I want to know.”

“She was looking at us like meat, Jassa.”

“I know, please let’s stay.  If we get into trouble, we’ll run for it.  You can fight a little.”

“Not against a mistress of mistcraft, I can’t,” Rike said.  “She was kicking us out a moment ago.”

“Apparently father’s name has more weight to it than we thought.”

“Maybe,” Rike said, “but he is a little famous, isn’t he?”

“A little, I guess,” Jassa said.  She moved a few steps away from the door, but close enough that all she had to do was jump for it, and she would have a hold of the handle.  Rike stayed at the door.

Naroli walked in with a tray with three teacups on it, full to the brim of a light brown tea.  She put it down on the table and looked at them again.

“Your surname is Krola?” she said again, as if she didn’t quite hear it the first few times.

“Yes,” Jassa said, confused.  “Jassalyn and Rikenar Krola.”

“Daughter and son of the Sword.”  This was a statement, not a question, almost said to herself than to them.

“Yes,” Jassa said.  “You know my father then?”

She laughed.  “Children of the Sword!  You are no mistake.  Paalvana, you clever, cleaver woman.  No, I do not know your father other than knowing his name.  The Sword is famous, especially with my chapter of the nacres.  Sit.  Have some tea.  I have decided to help you after all.”

“Why?”  Rike said.  “A moment ago you were throwing us out, telling us we’re too dangerous to have around, now you want to help us?”

“Yes, Son of the Sword, I do.  You have no idea what having you here means to me.  Sit, sit.  I will not throw you from this place now.”

Jassa sat first, Rike slowly left the door and joined her.  Naroli handed them the tea.  Jassa took it and sipped it so it would spill over the brim.

“I knew your mother married an angel, but I never knew, nor would I have ever thought, that she would have married Krola the Sword.  It is almost unbelievable to me.  I don’t even know how to really react to this news other than to sit here in awe.”

“Why?” Jassa said.  “You’re not making any sense, ma’am.”

“I know, I know,” Naroli said.  “I’m sorry.  There’s a reason for it, I’m a little shocked.  When you learned you were nacres and you told your father, how did he react?”

“He told us that he hoped we would be nacres,” Jassa said.  “He said we might be able to help heal—”

“Heal the world,” Naroli said.

“Yes,” Jassa said.

“Paalvana, you were clever.  I should have known she was up to something.”

“What does that mean?” Rike said. “Ma’am, you’re confusing us right now.  And frankly, I want to leave.”

“Please don’t.  I apologize.  I’ve been strange.  This was the last thing I expected to happen to me when two angelic children entered my eatery today.  It’s just that if you really are the children of Krola the Sword, your forbidden blood was no accident.”

Jassa didn’t know what to think of that.  She never thought she was an accident, even with her nacre blood.  Her father had mentioned that he had hoped that they would have shown signs are nacre abilities, and when Rike never said anything after getting them, and her not saying anything either until their fight, he seemed relieved that they were, and sad at the same time.  She remembered reading his face, and wondering what would make him happy and sad at the same time.

Now this Naroli woman was telling them that they weren’t an accident.  It was starting to sound like Mother married Father on purpose for the sole reason of having them.  But she wondered why.  Is my whole life some kind of elaborate lie or plan? she thought, while reaching for the seashell pendant hanging from her neck.

“What do you mean by that?” Jassa said.

“Child, do you know who your father is, and why he’s called the Sword?” Naroli said, her eye brows raised.

Rike spoke up.  “Our father is a famous warrior from the past,” he said with pride. “He has won many battles and many wars.  He is a skilled warrior and a master of the sword.  He was one of the celestials who helped defeat Brayol after he broke the world.”

Jassa nodded.  “Our father is a hero.”

“A hero?  Maybe,” Naroli said.  “I will not dispute anything he may have told you, or deny these facts about him that you have stated, I am sure they are all true.  The celestials are a great race, and we were lucky to have them cross over from the celestial ream to the human realm.  Though I do not believe they were sent from Thane-Na.  But your father was more than what you have said.”

She paused for a long moment and sipped her tea.  “Yes, your father did help stop Brayol eventually, but only after he betrayed him.”

“What?!” Jassa and Rike said in unison.

Naroli put her teacup down on the saucer on the table.  “Your father worked for Brayol.”

“No,” Rike said, angry.  “That’s lie!”


-Excerpt from Mistcraft; Chapter 15, by Andrew Ronzino

There it is.  This is the scene where my MCs learn that there’s more to their celestial father than they thought they knew.  It was a blast to write.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 54,118/50,000!

Until tomorrow night,

Andrew Ronzino, Bob Cratchit

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