NaNoWriMo Day 19: The Second Excerpt

Today was a good day.  There was another great scene that I was able to write, one that I’ve been seeing in my head for a long time.  It felt good to finally write it.  So, things are going well.

Normally, I would have shared the second excerpt by now, but I’ve been too busy to do so, so I’m doing that tonight.  If you would like to read the first one, you can do that here.  Again, just like with all my excerpts, this is a vomit draft so please ignore any spelling or grammatical errors that may have gotten past my quick edit.  Let me know what you think of it.


“Krola?” Naroli said.

She was looking at Jassa like she were suddenly a meal she hadn’t had in a long time, and she was famished.  Jassa glanced at the door.  Naroli’s hand was on the handle.  Jassa was filled with a fear.  She grabbed Rike’s arm to keep he close to her just in case they needed to flee or fight.

She was surprised by the commanding presence of this mistress of mistcraft.  She exuded power.  On top of her being strikingly beautiful, she was in charge of whatever room she was in.  Right now she was in the room with them, blocking their exit.  She was in awe and terrified of this woman at the same time.

The kettle was still screaming.

“Krola,” she said again.  “Lady of the Mist, what a gift.”  She stared at them in awe, and that frightened Jassa too.

“Please,” she said, like a begging plea.  “Don’t go.  Stay.  I’ll get us that tea.  Please.  Please don’t leave.”  She moved away from the door as if it were the hardest thing in the world for her to do.  She swiftly went into the kitchen.

Jassa could hear teacups being jostled quickly.

“Should we leave?” Rike said.  “I don’t like this.”

“I don’t either,” Jassa said.  “But I don’t think we should leave, Rike.  I don’t know what’s going on.  But I want to know.”

“She was looking at us like meat, Jassa.”

“I know, please let’s stay.  If we get into trouble, we’ll run for it.  You can fight a little.”

“Not against a mistress of mistcraft, I can’t,” Rike said.  “She was kicking us out a moment ago.”

“Apparently father’s name has more weight to it than we thought.”

“Maybe,” Rike said, “but he is a little famous, isn’t he?”

“A little, I guess,” Jassa said.  She moved a few steps away from the door, but close enough that all she had to do was jump for it, and she would have a hold of the handle.  Rike stayed at the door.

Naroli walked in with a tray with three teacups on it, full to the brim of a light brown tea.  She put it down on the table and looked at them again.

“Your surname is Krola?” she said again, as if she didn’t quite hear it the first few times.

“Yes,” Jassa said, confused.  “Jassalyn and Rikenar Krola.”

“Daughter and son of the Sword.”  This was a statement, not a question, almost said to herself than to them.

“Yes,” Jassa said.  “You know my father then?”

She laughed.  “Children of the Sword!  You are no mistake.  Paalvana, you clever, cleaver woman.  No, I do not know your father other than knowing his name.  The Sword is famous, especially with my chapter of the nacres.  Sit.  Have some tea.  I have decided to help you after all.”

“Why?”  Rike said.  “A moment ago you were throwing us out, telling us we’re too dangerous to have around, now you want to help us?”

“Yes, Son of the Sword, I do.  You have no idea what having you here means to me.  Sit, sit.  I will not throw you from this place now.”

Jassa sat first, Rike slowly left the door and joined her.  Naroli handed them the tea.  Jassa took it and sipped it so it would spill over the brim.

“I knew your mother married an angel, but I never knew, nor would I have ever thought, that she would have married Krola the Sword.  It is almost unbelievable to me.  I don’t even know how to really react to this news other than to sit here in awe.”

“Why?” Jassa said.  “You’re not making any sense, ma’am.”

“I know, I know,” Naroli said.  “I’m sorry.  There’s a reason for it, I’m a little shocked.  When you learned you were nacres and you told your father, how did he react?”

“He told us that he hoped we would be nacres,” Jassa said.  “He said we might be able to help heal—”

“Heal the world,” Naroli said.

“Yes,” Jassa said.

“Paalvana, you were clever.  I should have known she was up to something.”

“What does that mean?” Rike said. “Ma’am, you’re confusing us right now.  And frankly, I want to leave.”

“Please don’t.  I apologize.  I’ve been strange.  This was the last thing I expected to happen to me when two angelic children entered my eatery today.  It’s just that if you really are the children of Krola the Sword, your forbidden blood was no accident.”

Jassa didn’t know what to think of that.  She never thought she was an accident, even with her nacre blood.  Her father had mentioned that he had hoped that they would have shown signs are nacre abilities, and when Rike never said anything after getting them, and her not saying anything either until their fight, he seemed relieved that they were, and sad at the same time.  She remembered reading his face, and wondering what would make him happy and sad at the same time.

Now this Naroli woman was telling them that they weren’t an accident.  It was starting to sound like Mother married Father on purpose for the sole reason of having them.  But she wondered why.  Is my whole life some kind of elaborate lie or plan? she thought, while reaching for the seashell pendant hanging from her neck.

“What do you mean by that?” Jassa said.

“Child, do you know who your father is, and why he’s called the Sword?” Naroli said, her eye brows raised.

Rike spoke up.  “Our father is a famous warrior from the past,” he said with pride. “He has won many battles and many wars.  He is a skilled warrior and a master of the sword.  He was one of the celestials who helped defeat Brayol after he broke the world.”

Jassa nodded.  “Our father is a hero.”

“A hero?  Maybe,” Naroli said.  “I will not dispute anything he may have told you, or deny these facts about him that you have stated, I am sure they are all true.  The celestials are a great race, and we were lucky to have them cross over from the celestial ream to the human realm.  Though I do not believe they were sent from Thane-Na.  But your father was more than what you have said.”

She paused for a long moment and sipped her tea.  “Yes, your father did help stop Brayol eventually, but only after he betrayed him.”

“What?!” Jassa and Rike said in unison.

Naroli put her teacup down on the saucer on the table.  “Your father worked for Brayol.”

“No,” Rike said, angry.  “That’s lie!”


-Excerpt from Mistcraft; Chapter 15, by Andrew Ronzino

There it is.  This is the scene where my MCs learn that there’s more to their celestial father than they thought they knew.  It was a blast to write.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 54,118/50,000!

Until tomorrow night,

Andrew Ronzino, Bob Cratchit

NaNoWriMo Day 18: The 50,000th Word

Hello, my wonderful readers!  I have some fantastic news:

I REACHED 50,000 WORDS!

After only eighteen days since I started the NaNoWriMo challenge, I’ve reached the goal of 50K!  I was in a really great spot and was able to hammer out a lot of words.  I only had to delete and rewrite one scene before I hit the goal.  Score!

Like every year, I would like to share the 50,000th word with you.  This year that word is: “mistcraft”.

The sentence containing the 50,000th word is:


“More amazing than mistcraft!” he said.


The context is that a young man that Jassa fancies is the one teaching her the basics of mistcraft.  Being an angel, she has wings, and he asked her if she would fly so he could see it.  She obliged, and when she landed, he stood astonished, and said that she in flight is “more amazing than mistcraft”.  After that, they kissed.  It was Jassa’s first kiss.

It was an adorable scene to write.  Mistcraft is the title of the novel, so having it be the 50,000th word is cool.

Now, technically I’ve succeeded in the challenge of NaNoWriMo, but I like to complete the novel.  Because of that, I won’t consider it a victory until I type “the end”.  I still have a lot to write.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 51,751/50,000!

Until next time,

Andrew Ronzino, A Man Who Wrote A Novel In Under 30 Days

NaNoWriMo Day 17: Alternating POV

I’m so close to the goal, I’m thinking that I will probably cross the 50,000 words goal tomorrow.  Here’s hoping anyway.

As I sit here eating my cold Subway sandwich, I’m contemplating my choices for the point of view of my novel–What, you don’t do that?–and I’ve been happy with how I’ve chosen to write the story.  I’ve been alternating the POV character between Jassa and Rike with each chapter.  I started with Jassa in chapter 1, chapter 2 with Rike, and so on.  I just finished chapter 20, which was a Rike chapter.

This allows me to get inside both of my MC’s heads an equal amount of time and shows that neither one of them is more important to the story than the other.  Mistcraft is Jassa and Rike’s story together.  They’re differing views on events shape who they are.  Each chapter progresses the story, and every time we learn something new about the main characters.  It’s so cool.

I like how I decided to frame this story.  I think it was a good choice for the tale I’m telling.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 47,286/50,000!

Until 50,000 words,

Andrew Ronzino, Paladin

NaNoWriMo Day 16: Gotta Run Part 2!

This just ended up being a busy week for me, and once again, I must leave a quick post.  I got my words in today.  At this rate, I’m worried I won’t finish the novel.  Yes, I’ll hit 50K, but I’m not sure if I’ll finish the story based on where I am in it.  I will do my best to write a lot over the weekend.

I need to leave again.  Bye!

Oh, and Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald was awesome!

Current word count for Mistcraft: 45,316/50,000!

Until even later,

Andrew Ronzino, That Guy…Again

NaNoWriMo Day 15: Gotta Run!

Okay, I need to make this quick, I have a movie to get to.  I wrote the number of words I needed for the day.   I kept getting interrupted by phone calls and doorbells.

I wrote.

Now I need to leave.

Bye!

Current word count for Mistcraft: 43,583/50,000!

Until later,

Andrew Ronzino, That Guy

NaNoWriMo Day 14: The Joy of Writing

Today I hit 40,000 words!  Almost there!

I only have a small post for you today, and probably tomorrow too, as I will be seeing Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald with friends.

I enjoy writing.  Not only is it a way for me to express myself, but I have fun doing it.  There’s something about stringing words together to create worlds people can enjoy as they read them, even if that person is just me.

That’s one reason why I use NaNoWriMo to play around with my writing styles and try new skills — because I enjoy the challenge of it.

It’s more than putting a story together, it’s crafting a universe.

Why do you love writing?  Leave it in the comments.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 41,869/50,000!

Until the following day,

Andrew Ronzino, Crafter of Words

NaNoWriMo Day 13: Meet Rike Krola

I got in a lot of good writing today.  Jassa was reunited with a boy she fancies who had moved away months before the story began.  She literally ran into him.  It’s been a cute scene to write.

But enough about Jassa, it’s time to talk about my other main character for this NaNoWriMo novel, her younger brother, Rike.  So far this month, I’ve shared the plot of the story, gave you an excerpt, and introduced you to Jassa.  But now you need to get to know the other half of this story.

Meet Rike Krola, one of the primary protagonists of Mistcraft.

MEET RIKE KROLA

Name: Rikenar Krola

Nickname: Rike

Age: 12

Hair: Long enough to cover his ears, curly, blond, silver highlights

Skin: Tan

Favorite color: Red

Favorite Music: Anything fast paced

Favorite Food: Pie

Likes: Swordplay, listening to stories, his friends, his sister, his father, his horse, roughhousing

Dislikes: Tests, spicy foods, being treated like a child

Most prized possession: A letter written to him by his mother before she died

Why?: He’s read it over 100 times.  It’s the only real connection to his mother he has since she died shortly after he was born

Personality flaws: Proud and boastful, overconfident

Personality strengths: Tenacious, kind, and helpful

Rike knows that he’s an angel, and it frustrates him that the only real manifestations he’s experienced so far were small flickers of angelic power.  He doesn’t like listening to his father, who tells him that it will happen soon enough and often works with his older sister, Jassa, to help urge his angelic side a little.  He is at the very cusp of young adulthood but is still a kid in most people’s eyes, even his own most of the time.

He’s a little worried as Jassa has become a bit distant lately, and a little secretive.  When he asked her about it, she would always brush it off as his imagination.  He wonders what it is that she could be hiding from him, but try as he might, he has yet to figure it out.

He desires more than anything to show off his true abilities, and become a great leader of men.  Throughout history, there have been many angel generals, and Rike wants to join the ranks of them, and go down in history as one of the greatest warriors.

* * *

Rike, like his sister, is an angel, the son of a human and a celestial.  After the story began, he gained his first angelic manifestation, his aura, as well as learned what his sister was hiding from him, the fact that she, like him, has nacre abilities.  He is against the use of mistcraft and will do anything to keep himself from learning it as he believes it’s dangerous, especially for an angel.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 39,011/50,000!

Until my next post,

Andrew Ronzino, Nacre (Emptier)

NaNoWriMo Day 12: Stan Lee

I had just finished getting my words in for the day when the news hit that the legendary Stan Lee passed away at 95 from a stroke.  A deep sadness hit me.

I, like millions of others, have been inspired by his comics and the superheroes he created and brought to life.  I never got the opportunity to meet him, but I’ve always heard that he was kind and joyful to all people he encountered, and went out of his way to make children know that they were special.  His creativity was inspiring.

The world lost a giant this day.

May heaven greet him with rejoicing.

Rest in peace, Stan Lee!

stan_lee

Current word count for Mistcraft: 35,309/50,000!

Until next time,

Andrew Ronzino, Superhero

NaNoWriMo Day 11: Nacres and Mistcraft

I’ve been promising for a while now that I would shed some light on the magic system of my NaNoWriMo novel this year.   I am going to fulfill that promise tonight.

The active use of magic in my world is called mistcraft, hence the title of the story.  It’s a magic that I have developed rules for that function in this world based on a special gas in the air.  It’s been fun to create and craft.  It’s not perfect, but that’s what editing it for.  I’ve tried to keep it simple because I’ve never created a magic system quite like this before.  So, without further ado, here are the details:

Energetic Mist: On the planet of Fortelnia the air contains an invisible gas called energetic mist.  Energetic mist, sometimes known as iridescent mist, or, simply, mist, is mixed in with the other gasses in the air but is unaffected by the wind.  Mist drifts around the world until it is attracted by energy.  Any source of energy will attract the mist in some capacity, and it will coalesce around the source of energy, this includes heat, work, electrical, and any other kind of energy.  The greater the source of energy, the greater the volume of mist that will be attracted to it.  The more mist that collects in one spot, the more visible it will become, ranging from a light, wispy haze to a thick cloud of fog.  When the mist is visible, it has an iridescent mother-of-pearl (nacre) sheen to it, the colors shift and change.  To most people, energetic mist is simply an oddity of the world and they tend to ignore it as it does not affect anything positively or negatively.  Scientists who have studied mist have found it to be inert unless you’re a nacre.

Nacres: In a small number of human beings on Fortelnia, there are people born with an ability to feel and use energetic mist as a source of power.  These people are called nacres.  These abilities usually become noticeable in preteen-to early teenage years, depending on the person.  Male children have been known to notice their connection to mist before female children with the same abilities.  Scientists are still unsure why boys develop nacre properties before females do.  Nacres can feel the mist in the air, regardless of the amount that is in the area.  Most nacres describe this feeling as “waves of air lapping at their skin, like water on a beach”.  Nacres have an ability to absorb mist into their bodies in a process called drawing.  All nacres have a limit of how much mist they can draw into themselves, which varies from person to person.  Other nacres in the area will feel another nacre drawing in mist by feeling the mist rush towards them as if caught in the current of a river.  The only evidence that a nacre has drawn in mist is if they have enough to reach the upper limits of their personal capacity, their eyes will take on an iridescent sheen that matches the mist.  Only humans can draw in mist, no celestial has ever had this ability.  There has only ever been one recorded angel (half human and half celestial) nacre, Brayol, the Nacre who Broke the World.  Once a nacre has drawn in mist they can use it to perform mistcraft.

Mistcraft: Mistcraft is a nacre’s use of energetic mist to control, affect, distort, or alter the world around them.  There are two categories of nacres who use mistcraft: fillers and emptiers.  Which kind of mistcraft a nacre can use is seemingly random, and absolute, a filler cannot empty, and an emptier cannot fill.  Each nacre has a type, and it cannot be changed or unlearned.

Fillers: Fillers, sometimes called increasers, can use energetic mist to fill things.  This is an abstract phrasing for an abstract ability.  In other words, a filler can only increase the property of something.

E.g. A filler can increase their own weight, but cannot decrease it, they can, however, release the mist used to control their weight, returning it to their body as drawn mist, and restore their weight to what it was before mistcraft was used.  A filler can add color to something.  A skilled nacre can do so with such precision that the item becomes so full of color it hurts to look at.  Etc.

Emptiers: Emptiers, sometimes called decreasers, can use energetic mist to empty things.  Once again, this is as abstract as the power.  An emptier can only decrease the property of something.

E.g. An emptier can decrease the volume of water in a glass, but cannot increase it.  They can also release the mist to return to their body as drawn mist and the water level will be restored to what it was before mistcraft was used.  An emptier can remove color from something.  A skilled nacre can do so with such precision that the item becomes invisible.  Etc.

When mist has been drawn in, it can be released at any time by the nacre.  Releasing drawn mist has no effect other than expelling the mist from their body.

When mist is used for mistcraft, the effect caused by the expended mist will last for as long as the expended mist remains within the object, it is effectively used up, or “drained” by continual use.  Once enough mist has been drained away, the effect will end, and the object of the effect will be restored to whatever state it was in before mistcraft was used on it.  All use of mistcraft is on a clock determined by how much mist was used to create the effect.

A nacre can always recover undrained mist by drawing the remaining mist back into themselves, ending the effect, however, the drained mist is lost.

A creative nacre can use their ability to fill or empty to do amazing feats of power.  However, since Brayol broke the world, the art of mistcraft has become illegal.  Nacres either practice their abilities in secret or not at all.  Nacres who refuse to stop using mistcraft are burned at the stake if captured.

There you have it, my readers — Mistcraft!  There are a few other aspects of it, but it’s deeper mistcraft, and I will not bore you with the details.  So that is the magic system of my novel this year, and it’s been a blast creating it.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 33,428/50,000!

Until tomorrow,

Andrew Ronzino, Nacre (Filler)

NaNoWriMo Day 10: You Keep Using That Word…

NaNoWriMo Journal 2018

Comic-Con was awesome yesterday!  I got to see some really sweet costumes and meet some awesome celebrities.  The highlight for me was meeting Doug and Rob Walker.  I didn’t get a picture with them, but I got something better, a video they were willing to shoot with me, but I won’t be posting that here.

I also got to meet Christopher Paolini who wrote the Inheritance Cycle novels.  I went to his panel and he had a lot of great tips for writing, plotting, and epic fantasy.

Christopher Paolini

And yes, I am wearing a Powerline shirt from A Goofy Movie.  I am not sorry.

I wanted to go back to the Con today, but I had a rehearsal for my church’s Christmas play, then I needed to get some writing done.  I may be able to go for the final day tomorrow.

All that being said, do you have words or phrases that you use too often?  Like, to the point that Inigo Montoya might tell you that you keep using it and it doesn’t mean what you think it means?  I have several words that I think I use far too much.  Sometimes, when I use them and realize it, I will spend too much time trying to think of a better word, but by doing so I interrupt my own flow.  During NaNoWriMo, sometimes I write something I want to fix, but instead, I say, “I’ll fix it later when I rewrite this whole thing.”  Yay for first drafts.

I don’t mean words like “the”, or anything like that, but words you use when you can write a stronger word or phrase to punch up the situation.  Powerful and descriptive words are always better than tired and overused words.

“Look” and “stare” are a few of my words.  I use “around the corner” far too much as well.  I can write much better words and phrases.  It’s not bad to use these words from time to time, but I don’t want my stories riddled with the same words over and over again.  To do so without trying to find a better word for stronger description would be inconceivable!

So, fellow writers, what are some words that you use too much?  Leave them down in the comments.

Current word count for Mistcraft: 29,114/50,000!

Until the next post,

Andrew Ronzino, The Dread Pirate Roberts